Thursday, November 30, 2006

Tooth Fairy

I remember staring into the mirror, analyzing it, trying to see if tonight will be the night. I tug at it a bit, to see if it will give. Nope. Not tonight. But I really want it to be tonight! I try again...so painful. Sweat starts to lightly cover my face. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut, roll my eyes backward, and TUG. My fingers lose grip on the slimy thing. I grab an old rag, wrap it around the pearl, and tug. And with a ssshhhhpok! The white, priceless pearl emerges. I can only be triumphant for mere seconds, and then...the blood rushes out of the hole in my head. I put my mouth on the faucet, rinsing my mouth several times. I smile at myself in the mirror. I find the hole. I gingerly inspect it with my tongue. Gums had never felt so weird.
The tooth in my head, I do the traditional way of making sure the fairy knew I had a tooth for Her. I rush out of the bathroom, and think of the three most important spots in the house. I rush to the kitchen and scream, "Tooth fairy, tooth fairy, I lost my tooth!" I then go to the family room, and bellow, "Tooth fairy, tooth fairy, I lost my tooth!" Then I go to the most important room: Mine. How else would she know where to go? I say the same phrase, and I'm satisfied. I carefully placed the tooth in my pocket. I will put it under my pillow later.
Night finally arrives. I place the tooth in an envelope, and place it gingerly under my pillow, anxious for the money I was going to get. I got different amounts every time. I wondered how much the Tooth Fairy would pay for this one. Is it worth a lot? She must have some way of determining its quality...I will just have to wait.
The Tooth Fairy never came in the middle of the night. I know this because I woke up often at night, and inspected the area underneath my pillow. She always came right after I fell asleep, or right before I woke up. It always has puzzled me, and always will.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

This posting made me sick! The thought of you pulling your tooth out, even when it isn't ready. I was squirming in my seat as I was reading it, but hey, I guess it was worth all the money, and more importantly, the excitement of the tooth fairy!

Anonymous said...

I could barely read this post-the beginning almost made me sick. I squirmmed in my seat as a I read it...thinking of pulling teeth...

Anonymous said...

You do not remember correctly wee one. You only remember as it should have been! However, in real life this is how it goes--The tooth fairy in its extreme fatigue tumbles into bed with a faint feeling that it needs to do something. But it realizes that if it is important enough it would remember. Then the light of morning dawns and a wee one comes with disappointment on its face stumbling through the house. Once again the tooth fairly did not come. Saving the day, however, Mom comes to the rescue. "O little wee one sometimes the fairy is a little slow or maybe it didn't hear you. You have to run around the entire house and scream about losing your tooth. Lots of times you do it in the morning after you lose your tooth." Naturally the wee one does it and for heavens sake when the wee one goes back to her pillow the tooth fairy had snuck and done its work! I must admit that when the tooth fairy turned male he workded in the AM before the wee one lifted her eyeballs. Sometimes it is very fun to be a parent I mean a tooth fairy.

Lauren said...

You poor thing, Abby! How do you continue to survive with such misery?

Anonymous said...

The tooth fairy was never such a source of wonder for me, as she often left me notes under my pillow as well. It was always a puzzlement as to how she imitated my mother's handwriting perfectly, or why she signed off The Tooth Fairy Mouse.
We're not very sneaky in my family.

Anonymous said...

dear abby-I'm sitting here in a corner at work watching by pt's baby's heart rate and contractions. In between glances I'm reading your blog and your friend's and all the comments, well at least yours. I came across Doyle's. I can't believe the second picture-the one with her friend that is a boy and herself-they look like twins!

Nedge said...

I talked to ma, and I realized she means "utefan's" blog, not Doyle's. Sorry for the confusion.

Anonymous said...

I was gonna say... what?!
Is it Matt Evans after all?

Brittany said...

I was a little confused myself. I suppose Matt's identity is still a secret. Phew!