"Out, out-"

This week has reminded me of Robert Frost's poem "Out, out-". The title itself alludes to the famous passage in Shakespeare's Macbeth:

"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

To the last syllable of recorded time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player,

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,

And then is heard no more: it is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing."

A fellow peer of mine had a brother who lived in my ward. I didn't know the brother, but he was diagnosed with leukemia. On Sunday, I believe, complications arose, including a brain hemorrhage, and the family made the decision to take him off life support on Monday. He passed away soon after.

He was only 23.

Life is so unpredictable, so uncertain. We don't know when we'll be snuffed away, quite like a candle.

I vow to do my best to live everyday to its fullest, to be the best person I can possibly be, live with no regrets, and most of all? My largest goal is to uplift and better others...

Life is so uncertain. You don't know when your time is up.

Live it!

Recurring Dreams

The Swimming Dream

I get this dream usually at random, or before a big swim meet. It's just like a dream where you're trying to run, but you can't. Only it's swimming. And you can't seem to make it off the block, or get closer to the never-getting-nearer-wall...

The Lifeguard Dream

I get this one at random, but it always starts up the same...I'm lifeguarding at the Dive Tank (18 foot depth) and many people are flailing about or drowning. I jump in and save them all...but after the last person I don't have the energy to save myself, and I drown. After that, the dream takes on many different versions. Some versions I die, others, I turn into some kind of fish and escape into the ocean (from Utah?!?!) Don't ask. Dreams are simply weird.

The Jurassic Park Nightmare

This one is the worst one of them all. It's very hard to explain, but I first got this nightmare when after I watched the show when I was fairly young. Pretty much my world is in chaos as baby t-rexes and full-grown raptors attack everyone...The storyline is vague...maybe I'll watch that movie again this weekend and tell you the storyline. I get this one two-three times a year, I think.

The Driving Dream (nightmare?)

My dad also has had a similar dream as this one. Maybe it's a common theme. But you're pretty much in a huge car (sometimes a bus) filled with people. You're the driver. You have to take them somewhere. But here's the catch. You're steering from the very back. In stormy weather. Down a winding road in the mountains. You can't see a thing.

So, ta. Those are my top four recurring dreams. (There are others, but I'm too lazy to write them down, and you're too bored to read them.)

Vacuums!

I cleaned out my car for the first time in months. It was gritty, dirty, and gross. So, instead of scrubbing and such, my solution was the 6 horsepower canister vacuum.
So, I continued vacuuming, and not thinking much, when, lo and behold! The vacuum was chewing up my ponytail, and sucked my hair elastic off.
The memories came rushing in. When I was a wee lass, I would play with this tube, and stick it on my belly. Then I would stick it on my cheek. Then I would stick it on my chin, and finally...on my mouth!
Cut back to the present: A grown-up person sitting in a car, with their lips sucked out unnaturally in a vacuum tube....and trying to refrain from laughing...

On another note...yesterday was a gloriously beautiful day!!! I dragged my poor dad to take me to Gardiner Village to take a bike ride on the Jordan River. We rode for sixteen or seventeen miles. It was really easy and really nice. Then I took my bike to deliver some packages to a couple of close friends. That wasn't as nice, because I went to Doyle's house first, so I could get the climb back up Shield's Lane done and over. I get to her house, she's not home. Blast! I hop back on the bike, and start the tedious climb up, up, up. Then I approach Jos's street with horror. I've never realized how steep it was! And she lives quite a ways up it. I make my way all the way up, and Jos was home! And Doyle was there too! Grrrr! I could've cut out five miles from my whole trip if I just simply use a blasted cell phone! But it was a rather pleasant day...aside from the sore saddle butt. I envy Letty now, since she's been spinning all winter, and doesn't have to deal with this...

Brused Books

This lovely bookstore is located in Pullman, WA. It has creeky old floors and messy, often chaotic shelves. It has a comfortableness and familiarity to it that makes it so I could stay there all day.
Plus, they have very decent prices compared to the name store Barnes and Noble. I love hard cover books, but I can't buy very many at a time when I'm at Barnes and Noble. Coaching and saving up for college and a mission doesn't afford for such luxuries.
So I go to Brused Books. They have random editions, some as old as the 1920's, and even older! And the average price for a hardcover story is six dollars. Yes! In the single digits! So this trip I afforded to buy: Moby Dick, The Prince and the Pauper, and Candide in hardcover. I was disappointed to find that they were out of hardcover Les Miserables and Pride and Prejudice. But since I don't even own these books and they were about two bucks, I bought those as well. (well, I own Les Miserables...but the one at Brused Books came in two, more digestable volumes...)
I wonder if there's a bookstore somewhere in the vicinity of Salt Lake City that has the same stink, the same creekiness, the same familiarity...I'm sure it'd become my haunting place...

Sectionals!

Well, I'm safe in Pullman at the time.
Sectionals was a lot of fun! My first day was the best day because I actually made it back in the 100 free. I took fifth! (I took eighth two years ago) After that I must admit things kind of went downhill. I got a best time in the 200 backstroke, and was very pleased. On the second day (yesterday) I did poorly in my 200 free, which was the very first event of the day, which gave me plenty of time to explore Seattle.
In my explorations, I got to see a little bit of the ocean, lots of seagulls, the famous "Ye Old Curiosity Shop" which has mummies and interesting stories, and is partially a museum..., The fish market, Pike's Place, and lots of cool bizarre little shops.
Then came today, I swam some "off-events", events that I rarely swim. I did pretty good, but yielded no personal best times.
But I have to admit, I'm satisfied with the results of my meet. I did taper for state, after all. Not sectionals.

Anything else to tell? No. Not really.

Maybe I'll have another scooter wipe-out story to tell before the end of this trip is over...

Number one-hundred-fifty-five

I just happened to notice that this is my 155th post of fluff.

I'm off to Sectionals. It's a swim meet that takes place in Seattle. So. I probably won't be able to write anything entertaining for about a week. No apologies to you.

I was going to write something here about how cool it'd be if books were edible. But that subject has already been covered by John Steinbeck. I shall have to write what he wrote here later. But I have to go do some errands.

The Picture of Dorian Gray...and an experience.

I received this lovely book from Emily for Christmas. I finished it a while back, but realized I never blogged about it!

It was a fascinating book from beginning to end. I loved it! If you're making a list of books you want to read sometime, I suggest you put this on the list. I guess I'll give a little short summary of the story, but I will not discuss the thrilling ending, an ending that makes you stare, mouth open, and in shock.

Dorian Gray is a very handsome young man who gets his portrait painted by a friend. As he looks at his picture, he realizes that he will grow old, while this painting looks forever young, innocent, and eternally beautiful. He declares out loud he would give anything to remain young forever, and the picture grow old, and bear the weight of lost innocence Somehow, that very thing happens: Dorian sold his soul for eternal youth and beauty.

When he realizes he is invincible to trials and age, he degrades himself to commit every possible crime there is. As he commits acts more horrible and terrible, his picture grows more hideous and repulsive. Dorian watches in fascination at the picture's degradation, and realizes it is his soul that looks like the rotting hideous face.

That's all I'll disclose. I'm sorry. But the ending was fantastic!

Anyhoo...What else is there to tell you here? Oh, one awkward experience happened to me today...

I walked to church, and realized I needed to go to the bathroom. So when I got to the church, I went about doing my business, only to look up and see a little girl with big brown beady eyes staring at me through the crack of the door. I didn't know what to do! I was very tempted to roar at her and attempt to scare her away. However, I thought it through, and decided her mom is somewhere in the vicinity, and I don't want to embarass myself in some way...so, I just sat there, and eventually she went away.

Woo hoo. Life is interesting.

The horror! The horror!

I have finally finished a very deep novella, Heart of Darkness.
It was incredibly good. Now I know the true meaning of the words from that famous quote, "The horror! The horror!"
If you haven't read it, I'd highly, highly recommend it. You must take your time, however. I'm sure you could read it in a day if you wanted to, but I'm not sure if you'd grasp the meaning of everything. It took my class a month (if you can call February a month).
Tidbits here and there in the book have changed the way I look at things. Yes. Books do that to me, especially classics. They tend to do that. Broaden your mind to new possibilities, change your way of thinking, change your way of looking at humanity.

Anyhow. Life is pretty consistent for me. Water Polo season is here, yet I'm still wrapping up my swimming season. I have one last big meet up in Seattle. I'm very excited! I get to see the younguns after! Oscar and Poppy, here we come! (Well...not for another week and a couple of days...)

Tew dey I dis koff er ed just how fun it is to spell out ev er ee sill a bell. How ev ah, when you sound out what I type, it does not sound quite right. I shall have to work on this noo faund hob bee.