Two Pictures

An explanation is necessary: My computer is stupid, and these pictures were supposed to appear in the post below. If you would be so kind and read the post below, these pictures might make sense. Read on! Read on!

The Start of Something Not New

Let's start with a riddle: How fast can you guess what Snow White will feed the dwarves next?

Well, I have realized, with the help of several friends, that I am most definitely a person full of randomness. For example, in the middle of a deep conversation, I burst out with some phonetic language. (Check out my archives for January 14, 2006...under the "talking" heading...) Then I move on later to sniff peoples' cell-phones to determine if their scent is left on it yet or not. (If you didn't know, most houses have a distinct unique scent I can guarantee 100% that your house has a scent. If you don't smell it, maybe that's because you've been living there, and you are so accustomed to that smell that it isn't significant to you.) Next time you walk into a friend's house, smell for that scent. It's there.

So, this blog is titled "The Start of Something Not New". Well, it's true. It ain't new. Just the usual random I, myself,...me. I'm here to discuss Conformity: No escaping it. Either you choose to conform to something or not, right? Wrong. You are always conforming. For example, you can conform to wear plaid pants, but if you don't, you are conforming not to conform...Confused yet? No? Dang. So, if you can conform, or you are conforming to not conform.

Next random item on the agenda: Randomness. I have something to admit. I doodle. A lot. I love it! It's the only way to help me listen to lectures, talks, lessons, etc. I have to be doing something. I wonder if that's a disorder. ..(Speaking of disorders, I think I have a disorder where everything has to be in order, or I can't stand it...) Anyway, here are some of my random doodles I did during school: Clockwise from the top left. The buff winged feller was actually an imaginary hero that I made up in fifth grade. I drew him a lot better then, too. Next: It started out as a hamburger. Then I thought about hamburgers, and what would happen if one attacked you? Third: This started out as a bowling ball, add some eyes, hair, mouth, limbs, and wa-lah! A masterpiece creature. Lastly, this creature started out as a simple snake, add some huge eyes and make the original small beady eyes a nose, some duck-legs, fire, and once again, you finish with something quite magnificent. I was proud of my randomness until a dear friend of mine drew something that I will never forget. It looked something like this: well, my stupid computer won't put it on...so I will describe it, until it works: It was a simple cartoon, and the heading said: "CAUTION: FALLING PEACHES!" It 'twas awesome!

A List

I shall join all y'all (do you know the difference between "y'all", and "all y'all"? There is one, folks!) and write a list, as they seem to be popular.
TOP 10 HIT LIST
10. MOVIES INCORRECTLY TRANSLATED FROM NOVELS
I'm sorry, but I absolutely hate it when Hollywood modifies the story so all will go home happy and content...For example, in The Count of Monte Cristo, he does NOT go back to his wife and son as the movie depicts, and says he lives happily ever after. That ain't true! (I will let LOTR be the exception...they did well with that movie...) I'm just tired of the people with the attitude of "Oh, if the book is really that good, it'll be made into a movie, and I'll just watch it." What happened to imagination???
9. PEOPLE WHO VOTE FOR THEIR PARTY NO MATTER WHAT
Okay, okay...I know I can't vote yet, but I'm frustrated to hear about the people who are a die-hard Republican, or a die-hard Democrat, and will vote for only Republicans or Democrats. That's not how the system is supposed to work! I believe that you should vote for the candidate that you feel is right, regardless of Party. I wonder what would happen if on the ballots, they took off what party so-and-so is from.
8. DRIVERS WHO DON'T RESPECT BIKERS
Yeah, this is from a biker's perspective. Yes, I'm tired of cars who are plain annoying because they aren't only annoying, they also threaten my life. Please, don't hurry in front of a biker so you can turn right 10 feet in front of them to save 5 seconds on your schedule. You have the time to go behind us and wait 5 whole seconds to turn right. Please, stay at least 3 feet away from us. And no honking or startling noises either. It's actually quite amusing for you to go my speed, then floor the pedal to show how fast you can go. Hey, I'm pedaling my whole body and this bike against the wind uphill. It must be very hard for you to push that foot all the way down. I'm proud of you.
7. GRADE GOONIES
Grade Goons are very annoying. Brittanica has explained it all for me right there after Ringo.
6. UNKNOWLEDGEABLE KNOWLEDGEABLE PEOPLE
Yes, these people annoy me. I don't care if you have an opinion on everything, or that whatever you say is right no matter what. You can't tell me what to think or the proper way to cut toenails.
5. BOOGERY NOSES

Yes, this is from my experience with teaching swim lessons. Boogers, especially colored ones gross me out.
4. BARBIE
Ever since she came out, people like her became "popular". Blonde, anorexic, and plain annoying.
3. PEOPLE WHO ABUSE BOOKS
C'mon. Books aren't that hard to take care of. Pick it up and read and set it down. The pages aren't that hard to turn, it doesn't take that much force, stop ripping the pages! Books aren't that hard to put away. Just set it down on a table, or a water-proof area. Were you practicing for some competiton when you ripped the cover clean away? I would, and probably libraries would, appreciate it if you just treat a book like an...ipod. Do you throw red juice on your ipod? Or drop it in the toilet?
2. MYSPACE
I know I will offend someone about this peeve of mine, and that I probably should say, "No offense to anyone"...but I don't care if I offend you. If you're easily offended, then you should get an attitude makeover...oops, probably offended you again. All well. On to Myspace: I tried it for a futile month. Then I realized it's not for me. It's stupid. It's probably for the people who text message on their cell phones at least every 5 minutes of every day.
1. CLIFFHANGERS
C'mon! Just finish it! Stop manipulating us so you get more money on your next thing! *cough*Harry Potter*cough*Pirates of Carribean*cough*

Boat Jumping

Okay, okay. I'll admit it right out front. I have a mental block. I can't think of anything to write. So I asked another friend to give me a random noun and verb. The last time I had to do this, it was about binder sniffing.

"Boat Jumping, the Lost Sport"
By Abby Norman (who else?)

Did you know at one time the vikings had a sport called boat jumping? Apparently the vikings (around the time of 873 A.D.) of Orkney were limited to raiding the British Isles to only a few times a year, and had to do something with their time. Off the shores of Orkney, the water is very shallow about a mile out. Because of this shallow water, the vikings were able to take out a 23.33 m long and 5.25 m wide ship with only twenty sailors in it. Ten people a side, and they would insert their paddles into the water, until it was firmly grounded into the bottom. They then would push down and foward, lifting their boat into the air, slightly moving forward, and back down onto the water. Thus, this was called, "boat jumping". This feat took much strength, as evidenced by the vikings' bulging muscles in their portraits in rock. They often had many competitions, but the team with Björn Ironside almost always won. This sport caused the vikings to grow large in stature (on the upper-half of their bodies, anyway...).
There are rumors that the vikings would often have competitions against other vikings from other islands. They would often liven the competition with a few weapons, such as daggers, spiked clubs, etc. Even though cheating may have been involved in competitions, the vikings always seemed to enjoy the race.
I believe that we should reignite the wonderful sport of boat jumping, and bring it back to the world, even though most races would occur in a very small short pool, since no human today (except for body builders) could possibly endure more than 10 yards of boat jumping.

*Many facts are in actuality, and many facts are made up. Thanks to the almighty Wikipedia to the "true" facts, and thanks to my silly head for the other facts.
**Idea attributed to Annika.

Hmmm...I'm in a dilemma

Instead of reading Jane Eyre like I was supposed to, I opened up my yearbook to read the notes everyone has left me. (I hadn't even read them yet...whoops) And I come to notice that...most of the people leave phone numbers, saying, "call me!". ??? I hardly know some of these people, and yet, they are demanding that I call them. One problem that I have is that I don't own a cell-phone...we don't have caller ID at home...(Well, sometimes it's a problem). Does etiquette require that I call these people? Or are they being nice, giving me the impression that they want to be called by me? Or, are they just on autopilot, writing down the same thing over and over without realizing that they are putting a distinct phone number in my yearbook? Or are they lonely and really want a call from someone as awkward as me? Or...ack! The list could go on forever, and I really could come up with all kinds of reasons that probably don't apply. You want an example? Okay, maybe I person wants me to call them because they heard that I specialize in sniffing random things, and want to settle an argument on whether a ping-pong ball smells the same as the volume control on a radio. Random enough? You bet. My other confused problem is, what if a guy says that? Why in the whole wide whirlin' world would he leave a number? There's no way I'm calling him! Sorry. So, if you'd be kind enough to leave a comment, please explain to me the etiquette of handling phone numbers of people you hardly know who say "I Luv ya SO much! U R so funy! Call me!"

Numb3rs

When I was born, I was given a anklet with my name...and a number.
Then I was given my SSN.
Then I got my library card number.
Then I got my bank account number.
Then I got my student number.
Anywhere I go to be a patient, dentist, orthodontist, doctor, etc. I'm known as a number.
My family has a Fresh Values number, as well as Sam's Club, and Albertson's, etc.
Then I transferred to a different school, and got a different student number.
I lost my library card, and was given a new number.
I switched banks so I could have checking, and I was given two new numbers.
I got my driver's license, and got yet, another number.
My grades are also numbers. No one looks at the "A" or the "B", but the grand total...3.2.
Water Polo players are considered "good" only by the number of goals they have scored...no one seems to look at the playmakers or the defense.
Swimmers are scrutinized for their times...gee, more numbers.
Resumes are searched for numbers...years of experience, age, years in school, etc.
I soon start to believe that I am only a series of numbers. My name isn't Abby Norman, it's an afterthought. It's a number, a different number to different people.
In a world where the combination of numbers are endless, do names even matter anymore? Will the day arrive when the newborns are named "49875938" instead of "Mike Jones"? Only our favorite people (or not so favorite) know our actual names, like family and friends. But ask someone who does business with you, and they'll have to look up a number, or scan a barcode to get your name. You can't simply say, "I'm Mike Jones." They'll have a blank look on their face, and their computer. You have to say your SSN or something like that. Yes, I understand why, but...why? Is it just me, or do others also feel some slight annoyance for being known as a series of numbers?