Binder Sniffing*

My subject today is "binder sniffing".What, exactly is binder sniffing? A job? If it was a job, you ask, how would it affect our lives today? I'll tell you how.
There are some courageous people out there who will take the scary and life-threatening job to make sure our binders are safe by sniffing them. The sniffing test tests three areas:

1) Bonking damage. There are many bullies out there that like to tell you their binder smells funny. When the victim goes to sniff the binder, the bully smashes the binder shut, therefore, smashing the victim's face. So far, the five-star binders are in the lead in this area, as they are more flexible, more able to mold into the sniffer's face instead of damaging them physically. The emotional damage is unpredictable thus far.

2) Binder pugence: This test tests for the possibility of intoxication by inhaling the binder. (e.g. some binders, you will notice, smell very "new" and reeks of plastic. This is not good.) Sniffers rate the binders on a scale of 1-10, 1 being deadly intoxicating, and 10 being unoticable scale. Mead is on the bottom for this test.

3) Stickiness of labels: The sniffers also sniff the areas where stickers and labels formally resided. They sniff the area, and test for the pugence, stated in test 2. Then they stick their nose on the area and see if it's still sticky. If it's still sticky, that's a bad sign because gross bacteria and germs could get stuck on that area. (If not all other areas as well.)

So you see, the binder sniffers have a very dangerous job. They risk their face, as it can be deformed from test 1. They risk their nostrils and sense of smell in test 2. They risk having a binder stuck to their face for the rest of their life in test 3. Please go hug a binder sniffer today!

*Brainstorming Idea attributed to Brittanica...I'm not sure if these people really exist, but if they do, I sure do appreciate them.