Binder Sniffing*

My subject today is "binder sniffing".What, exactly is binder sniffing? A job? If it was a job, you ask, how would it affect our lives today? I'll tell you how.
There are some courageous people out there who will take the scary and life-threatening job to make sure our binders are safe by sniffing them. The sniffing test tests three areas:

1) Bonking damage. There are many bullies out there that like to tell you their binder smells funny. When the victim goes to sniff the binder, the bully smashes the binder shut, therefore, smashing the victim's face. So far, the five-star binders are in the lead in this area, as they are more flexible, more able to mold into the sniffer's face instead of damaging them physically. The emotional damage is unpredictable thus far.

2) Binder pugence: This test tests for the possibility of intoxication by inhaling the binder. (e.g. some binders, you will notice, smell very "new" and reeks of plastic. This is not good.) Sniffers rate the binders on a scale of 1-10, 1 being deadly intoxicating, and 10 being unoticable scale. Mead is on the bottom for this test.

3) Stickiness of labels: The sniffers also sniff the areas where stickers and labels formally resided. They sniff the area, and test for the pugence, stated in test 2. Then they stick their nose on the area and see if it's still sticky. If it's still sticky, that's a bad sign because gross bacteria and germs could get stuck on that area. (If not all other areas as well.)

So you see, the binder sniffers have a very dangerous job. They risk their face, as it can be deformed from test 1. They risk their nostrils and sense of smell in test 2. They risk having a binder stuck to their face for the rest of their life in test 3. Please go hug a binder sniffer today!

*Brainstorming Idea attributed to Brittanica...I'm not sure if these people really exist, but if they do, I sure do appreciate them.

Barbie World

First of all, I must confess that I have a secret. I carry around a handy little blue book. It contains my random "essays about nothing whatsoever". More often than not, I put one of those essays on my blog. I'm about to publish another.

"Barbie Land"

(originally written 6-23-04)

That is, indeed, the title of this entry. Quite intimidating. I never truly loved Barbies. I usually ripped their heads off during my childhood. This entry however, has nothing to do with the dolls.

Wherever I walk nowadays, it seems as if the trend is to look exactly like everyone else. I swear, I saw 20-lupets coming out of the mall the other day! (I was going there to look for some cool watches and Beatle shirts at Hot Topic.) They had the same blonde hair, same perfect make-up, same orange tan, same Abercrombie & Watchamacallit shirts, and same jeans by the same brand, and same flip-flops...same, same, gonna drive me insane same!

I wonder if they'll start wearing color contacts so they have the same color eyes! It is very creepy to walk up to someone, say, "hi Jessica!" Only to learn it was, in fact, Megan! Maybe they're really clones. Maybe there's a conspiracy behind this in the long run. We'll never know. Or will we? Everyday it gets worse and every tomorrow gets even scarier. Will everyone, in twenty years, look the same age because of plastic surgery? Will everyone look the same? I might as well give up trying to learn names now, because I will never be able to tell people aparrt in five years. Everyone already looks the same, as well as trying to have the same bright personality! Ack! Sounds like some sick utopia!

Hehe, I hope you enjoyed this... Judging from the date, I just finished Middle School, where it was outrageous how people imitated each other. I know realize that that stage was simply, Middle School. Now that I'm going to a high school, I realize that high school is so much more secure and diverse...(really diverse at the high school I go to! Half of the population's first language is spanish! It's awesome!)

Erasers

There are many kinds of erasers out there. The one I have in my mind are the big pink rubbery ones. Erasers are very interesting. They erase your mistakes. The interesting part is, they don't rub off or wear out the paper, but they wear out themselves in order to make your paper perfect.
Sometimes I feel my life is like an eraser. People use me to smudge out and erase their mistakes.
(Interesting analogy, eh?)

Imagination

One of my greatest sorrows of today is that hardly anyone uses their imagination anymore. They rely on T.V.s, movies, magazines, and music to come up with new ideas and entertainment. Sometimes I'll be using my imagination, swashbuckling those blasted niNNergoodLes, and working with the blUURpIers. It's a lot of fun! Then I'll look up and see people scowling at me, demanding that I should act "normol", and go watch T.V. I don't like T.V. Too degrading and serious... and forced on you. No interaction with your brain at all. Why can't I go snorkling and fight off the TreVoRS? To tell you the truth, I thrive on imagination! I need it! If it weren't for imagination, our civilization wouldn't be where it is today. So, I have one request to make to my audience; go away, and escape to your imagination land, and stop reading this blog.

Socks

Socks are such a strange garment. They are also very useful. They can meet almost any need in the household and abroad. For example, in the home, I've found that the sock can be a good item to use for dusting (or de-dusting, if you will...that word is so weird when you think about it...) Socks are also useful in preventing blisters, and they keep your feet warm, not to forget hands as well (if you forget your gloves...). As it can be seen in the picture, it can also be used as a dog toy.
I remember when I was a young lad, my mom liked to make my hair curly for special occasions. Whn one of these special occasions came up, my mom would wet my hair, and tie it up in socks the night before. When I awoke the next morning, she would roll them out, and miraculously, my hair would be curly, if not a little stinky... So, socks can also be used as a beautifying agent! ;)
Socks can also help you abroad. Say you've gone hiking, and your buddy/chum/dog/whatever falls and breaks their arm. You, (as any good boy scout/girl scout would do) set the bones, and go find a couple of splints. Alas! You don't have anything to tie the splints on with! (You don't want to tear your shirt, because it might make your shirt immodest, and we don't want that, do we?) So, you glance down in despair, only to see your smelly, now brown-from-the-mud socks! You pull your wet, sweaty socks off, and tie those splints on, only to realize your patient died from the smell. All well, you did your first-aid right, and that's what counts, right? Of course right.
As you can see from all this, socks may be weird-looking, but they sure can fulfill many much-needed uses.
It's always smart to be prepared; bring an extra pair.

Human Nature

Everyday when I look around, and watch others, I become more and more ashamed of my race. Humans truly can become cruel, selfish, and inconsiderate. Why are we like this? Why can't we realize that everyone we talk to, associate with, even glance at in the street are PEOPLE! They have feelings, they have problems, they are experiencing their own trials and hardships! Why do we glance at someone on the street, and immediately slap a sterotype on them because of their age, gender, religion, race, clothing, ect.?

Do you realize, at all, that when you go to a restaurant with friends, and have a grand old time, and leave an awful mess, that someone has to clean it up? Sure, you may reply, it's their job. Just you wait. Just you wait until you are put into their shoes with a job like that. Do you really want to clean up the refuse and garbage that someone leaves just for you? Of course not! You love it when someone is considerate, and cleans up after themselves. It makes your day seem brighter.

I think I hate stereotypes the most. They can be cruel, demeaning, and incorrect. For exam
ple, too many people believe that all of the people in the Middle East are terrorists, and should be locked up. Uh, they are not all terrorists! They are people! Please, please do not lable them as terrorists because of a select crazy few. Have you ever been in a class where the class was punished as a whole, because of the actions of one or two people? It's kind of like that.

I also loathe gossip. I hate it when I see tongues wagging with rumors about some poor soul. If you ever happen to hear gossip, don't believe it! Go talk to the victim, find out for yourself what their true character is.

Sometimes when I feel desperate, I read John Steinbeck's novels. Sure, his stories are sad, but he truly understood human nature. He shows our nature. When I read his works, I sigh with relief to know that someone else has felt what I feel.

Sometimes my days seem so dark because people let their malicious tongues drip with gossip, people ignore those in need, the strong people (whether it be money, physical, academic, or other strength) refuse to help the weak; rather, they jump at the chance to take advantage of them. People shun others because of their health. The elderly are scorned and ignored, the poor avoided...All of this spins in my head as I hold my breath for humanity. Then I see a stranger hold a door open for an old grandmama as she slowly shuffles her way in.

I breathe again.

Does this Surprise you?

You Are Animal

A complete lunatic, you're operating on 100% animal instincts.You thrive on uncontrolled energy, and you're downright scary.But you sure can beat a good drum."Kill! Kill!"

The'>http://www.blogthings.com/themuppetpersonalitytest/">The Muppet Personality Test

Technological Revolution

We, are on the verge of the technological revolution. Sure, in the past we got the printing press. Big deal. Then we get the car. Fantastic. Then we get ice that is cheap. Big whoopee doo. We get the tellyphone. Then we get the washing machine, the dryer, the refrigerator. Yay. Then we get calculators and TV's. Then Computers that were big as our houses, then desktop computers, then laptops, then Palm Pilots, then Blackberries, Cellphones, pagers, ipods, ect. BorRING. Then, at LAST, we get some true technological revolution. Let me introduce it to you. You may find it common, but at LAST someone with brains come up with items so fantastic, I want to cry!

First, is the The CALOY™ Flood Detector. Working on the principle that flood water has conductivity, The CALOY™ Flood Detector is one gadget every person should have and own! The operation of the aparatus is simple. It beeps the moment water reaches it.

Second, the Person Positioning System (PPS). Inspired by the internationally popular Global Positioning System (GPS), the Person Positioning System (PPS) is a device that tells a person his or her orientation.

Third,The SegwayStarting the parade of lameness is the Segway. It's a motorized scooter invented by a real, live mad scientist - Dean Kamen. It lets you go across dirt, up hills, through doors, forwards, backwards, left and right. Hey... wait a minute, can't my legs do that? And your legs cost less than a Gamecube, Ps2, XBox and Dreamcast combined. The Segway costs almost $3,000. Forget it

Fourth, the Lipsense Long Lasting Liquid Color. This stuff should be called Lips-no-sense. This stuff burns when you put it on and won't come off without special chemicals, double ugh! On the other hand, if you ever want a day off school, tell them you're using this stuff.

Fifth, Nike Shox XTHave you seen these new shoes from Nike? They're the ones with the springs in your heel that'll send you flying through the air with the greatest of ease? Ok, I have a question for you - who jumps from their heels? Anyone? I didn't think so, if you're going for airtime you launch from your toes, not your heels.


My point of this article is this: People out there are inventing many wonderful and exciting things to make our American lives "easier" or, try, more "exciting"? Isn't it about time that we take all those brilliant, inventive minds, put them together, and try to make life "better" for those who are in need in third world countries? Seriously, we've got to stop inventing useless things, or things we don't truly need, and strive to give technology and funding to causes that will help the world to be a better place.