Robot

I'm trying out new hearing aids.  I've had many pairs of hearing aids in my lifetime.  But I should start from the beginning for those of you who don't know me very well.

FAQ'S:
Q: How did you lose your hearing?
A:  By being born.

Q:  How much hearing loss do you have?
A: About 60 percent?  I'm not sure.  I'm in the 'profound' loss range if that means anything to you.

Q:  How did your parents know that you couldn't hear?
A: Well, when I wasn't talking or uttering anything coherent by the age of 3, they knew something was up.  I was also a bit crazy (still am).  And a nice lady from our neighborhood taught me some sign language, and I became a sweet normal little girl.  Then it clicked.

Ok, back to the point.
New hearing aids.

Before my new hearing aids, hearing aids were simply devices that are made of hard plastic that you wedge into your ear so that it sits next to your eardrum and blares sound into your ear like a microphone.  (Ok, I know it's more complicated than that, but we'll just keep it simple for all those who are not HOH [hard of hearing].)  Since my first pair, at the age of 3, hearing aids have come a long way.  I'm always conscious that I'm listening with a hearing aid, knowing that everything I "hear" isn't quite...natural sounding.

How do I know this?  Secret confession: I often take out my hearing aids in the car, turn the volume all the way up, and enjoy my favorite songs with my natural ears.  It sounds totally different.  Hearing aids can do only so much.

Hearing aids are also very convenient when you don't want to participate in a conversation or listen to a crazy hectic loud crowd--simply turn them off and enjoy the silence.  And I mean absolute silence.  Not one hint of a murmur or sound.  The only way I can describe this is that my ears feel like black holes of nothingness.  And you start to "hear" imaginary sounds.  But that's another story.


New hearing aids: I don't even realize I'm wearing hearing aids half of the time.  It sounds that natural.  Then I panic, worrying, "oh, I'm not even wearing them!  That's why everything sounds so different!"  Then I remember, "oh, yeah.  These are new cool hearing aids."  Not only do they sound better, but if I'm in a situation where I don't really want to listen...I can just tap a cool magical button, and I'm immediately listening to music on my phone.  In my ears.  No one else can hear it.  I can also talk to people on the phone directly through my ears.  So I'm often seen talking to myself.

So remember when I said as a child I was a little wild?  Well now, I'm just insane.  No one can see (hear) why I'm banging my head, busting a random move, or talking to myself.  My hearing aids are pretty hard to see...

I can already see how this will be fun.