All of a sudden it hit me. I'm excited in a scared nervous way.
Conference is next week. The "big meet" is NEXT WEEK. On the doorstep, knocking with a rotting gloved hand. Grinning at me with yellow long jagged teeth, eyes hidden under a hood, asking me "are ye ready?" (Yeah, I'm taking a creative writing class)
Looking deep down inside, I don't know the answer.
I'm inclined to ask myself often, "am I ready?" "Did I really put the work I needed to into it?" Usually every year I can say "I've done my best, I'm ready."
This year? Not so much. Thanks to my shoulder, I had a much different experience training this year. About half of it was out of the water on a bike. And when I was in the water, some days my shoulder would hurt, so I'd just kick. Other days, my shoulder didn't necessarily HURT, but the length of the set was tiring for the shoulder, which has probably lost much of its endurance muscles. So. Am I really ready for this meet? Do I really deserve to be on these relays? Or will I simply let my teammates down? I know I will do my best, and that's all I can do...but after pulling off a better performance than I expected last year, how can I maintain that level this season? Or should I not compare this season to last?
Stupid crackling shoulder. Makes me stutter with wonderings and doubt.
Conference is next week. The "big meet" is NEXT WEEK. On the doorstep, knocking with a rotting gloved hand. Grinning at me with yellow long jagged teeth, eyes hidden under a hood, asking me "are ye ready?" (Yeah, I'm taking a creative writing class)
Looking deep down inside, I don't know the answer.
I'm inclined to ask myself often, "am I ready?" "Did I really put the work I needed to into it?" Usually every year I can say "I've done my best, I'm ready."
This year? Not so much. Thanks to my shoulder, I had a much different experience training this year. About half of it was out of the water on a bike. And when I was in the water, some days my shoulder would hurt, so I'd just kick. Other days, my shoulder didn't necessarily HURT, but the length of the set was tiring for the shoulder, which has probably lost much of its endurance muscles. So. Am I really ready for this meet? Do I really deserve to be on these relays? Or will I simply let my teammates down? I know I will do my best, and that's all I can do...but after pulling off a better performance than I expected last year, how can I maintain that level this season? Or should I not compare this season to last?
Stupid crackling shoulder. Makes me stutter with wonderings and doubt.
7 comments:
It'll all work out. Best of luck.
Ummmm, President Monson says that Conference is not until the first weekend in April.
OK, so you are taking a writing class this semester....
You will do fine--think about the Princeton meet. Just put a smile on and enjoy the ride--do the best you can.
And, (more, of course) don't give yourself any reasons not to excel. We watched Bug's Life with Micah last night--remember the rock? (well, imagine it is a seed). All of that potential is within you. You will let it all rip at conference. Go Utes!
Don't be too hard on yourself...I'm sure you will do great! You always do. If you don't do as well as last year, don't beat yourself up about it...You have got what it takes and I'm sure your teammates are proud to have you on board (shoulder or not)
I think Colletty is wrong, I think they would rather have your shoulder than not!
Good Luck!
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