pensamiento debajo del sol

It's annoying when you're trying to enjoy yourself on the green grass stretched out before you, some palm trees swaying in the distance, and you are in your favorite relaxed position: face looking up to the dark blue sky, the nonexistent puffy white clouds, and you have your hands locked behind your head, so you can open up that chest and strreeeeeettttccccchhhh....

Then the stupid painful pounding happens. Everytime your pulse comes around to that left shoulder-there's a little gnome with his hammer clinking it at something inside my shoulder. So you sigh, and put your arms down to your side, causing the shoulder to pop several times from the transitioning of positions. Wince a little, or don't...happens so many times, you're quite used to it.

Close your eyes, feel the sun shining on your face, remember what it feels like in the spring? So warm, but not burning? Caresses you, makes you feel so good... That's what it feels like here. Not too hot or intense, but it's there for certain. Take nice deep breaths, and become so relaxed, nothing is tense, feels so good until...ah. It's a good thing I'm usually always moving because the pounding comes back.

Stupid gnome.

Then since my mind is idle, I think about my shoulder, and try to remember why I'm still swimming, when any person with common sense would stop and get it fixed. Oh yes, our team may make it to NCAA's. I have a chance to do something amazing, something once in a lifetime. But I never really wanted that, my coach did. So if I don't really care if I get this or not, why do I keep going?

I figure it all comes down to one of two things: either I'm really loyal, or just plain stupid.