Keyboard digging

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Results: "Did you mean Keyboard Logging"?
Darn.

Keyboard Digging

When you read the title "Keyboard Digging", you are probably thinking, "What the putrid bologna?" That is what I thought, too. Until I saw them.
The Keyboard Digging people. They call themselves "Keydig" for short.
The Keydig people are a dying race. They are very timid, and hide in the dark corners of the world. Because of their timidness, and the world's rapidly growing population, they are being kicked out of their territory. They are the red squirrels of the park. The grey ones are taking over.
Some of you Darwinismists will just say, "the survival of the fittest!" So, if grey squirrels become so plentiful to overpower us humans, does that mean they were fitter, or was it because of their numerous population? Okay, we're quite off-topic.
The Keydigs.
So, how did they get such an outrageous name??? It all started back, way back, when typewriters were the general method to get ideas on a page. The lazy people of the civilized world were tired of having to clean out the typewriters. (Typewriters get dirty, just like computer keyboards...whether it be food, or gradual grime build-up from your fingers...) So they imported some people from a small island, and their job was to clean the typewriters. To clean the typewriters/keyboards, they use their delicate, small fingers to dig into the cracks, and scoop out the grime. They grew so popular and useful, that everyone used them. "Hey, can I borrow your Keydig?" "Sure! Just give him back sometime next week." The Keydigs didn't mind this occupation. It was better than sitting around on an island and documenting the different smells of the world. (I don't know if this source is reliable, as to where they came from. Others say they are escaped Oompas. They were sick of chocolate.) Some distinguishable characteristics of these people are:
1. The sock-tying ceremony. The Keydigs have a wonderful and unique ceremony where they get together, and bring all of their lone socks. (The socks who have lost their mate.) And they dump these socks in different piles, and match the socks with another to the best of their ability. The Keydigs have never wasted a sock because the other was missing. This ceremony traditionally takes place in a moonlit children's park on the eve of April 2.
2. Their meals: This has to be explained. They have meals very often, but in very small portions. For example, one Keydig I met ate according to this schedule: Pre-breakfast at 6:23 am. Breakfast at 7:34 am. Post-breakfast at 8:45 am. Pre-brunch at 9:54 am. Brunch at 10:12. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera!!
3. The Rope-making tradition. These Keydigs are very adorable in all aspects. Except for this one. They collect and save hair (from their backs) and eventually braid it into a very reliable rope. Gross. Usually the men do this one.
4. Piercings. If you know what to look for in piercings, you won't always know exactly who's a Keydig, and who isn't. They don't have any.
5. Greetings. The Keydigs have a unique way of greeting each other on the street. They walk up to each other, and smell the other's left hand. They believe that The left hand is the hand that's supposed to smell good, as the right does all the smelly and dirty work.

This is all I have discovered and witnessed so far among the lost people: The Keydigs. Watch out for them!

*Verb accredited to Jos and noun credited to Brittanica.