"You don't want to touch that!"

Sometimes in weights I get really sweaty.

I mean really sweaty, as in: dripping out of all my pores, my legs, my arms, so I'm slippery as a fish. One of the bad results of this (other than smelling bad and looking like a pig), is that sometimes my hearing aids cease to work.

That happened today. So I took it out to let my ear dry out. I wanted to finish up some lunges, so I set it right next to my water bottle, on a lone bench in the middle of the weight room. I kept a close eye on it from 15 feet away. Some of the boys had to get dumbbells that were in that area. So one of them that had walked over set his water bottle near mine, and he saw it. I could tell, because he gave it about four consecutive glances, one longer after the next. Finally, with his face about three inches from it, he decided to pick it up.

Just to tease, I shouted, "EW! GROSS! You do NOT want to touch that! Do you know where it's been?!"

I have never seen anyone jump so high. Not even mom when I scare her. He basically freaked out and set it back where it originally was. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I had no idea what it was!" And that resulted in 8 boys scrutinizing the hearing aid, while it sat safely on the bench. All I can say is that poor boy was so embarrassed for the next 10 minutes...while wiping his fingers on his shorts. I assured him several times he was okay.

What can I say? I get a kick out of startling people.

Going Bonkers

"You need to eat some more."

"Nah. I'm full. Plus, I'm really, really tired."

"No, you need to eat some more. Your body will thank you tomorrow."

"Look at all I ate!...a whole bowl of grapes, some ramen, two tall glasses of chocolate milk, among other things. Besides, I think my body will be much more grateful to just go to bed. I'm exhaustified."

"Natalie, I know you're really tired, but it's only the beginning of the week. You have many more practices to get through, more classes to sit through. You need to eat food now to have the energy you need for later! At least eat some PROTEIN!"

"UGGGGHHH! I NEED SLEEP!"

PAUSE: There is only one person in the room. That's me. When I'm weary and exhausted, this is what happens in my quiet apartment. I start arguing with myself. Out loud. Sometimes I throw the kitchen rag across the room to make the argument seem more authentic. At least I don't start hallucinating. Is food better than sleep? Or is sleep better than food? I leave the question to you.